Math was absolute rubbish today.

On the brightside, that’s my second last math paper, and after Friday, I’m saying au revior to math forever.

My sister’s watching this cooking show about making relish and hamburgers and I’m super hungry waiting for mum and dad to get home for dinner. Thanks for saying a million times “here’s how to make the best burgers on the planet”.

Chelski are a bunch of lucky arses, and so are Livershite. People who don’t deserve anything.

My bonfire’s coming along. I can’t wait.

A levels start tomorrow? Believe it? Or not? Cos I don’t quite, even at this stage. I’m staring at the biggest stage of my academic life so far in the face, and I’m blogging. Oh that’s nice. I think I’ve kind of reached a point where I just want it to come quickly and be over rather than panicking over the fact that I haven’t covered everything in my syllabus yet. So I may not be fully ready to take it, but I just want to take it now. Drag it on and on some more and I think I might suffer even more. Whatever it is, I’m going to face the consequences of my own action/inaction and I’m prepared for it. 4 As or 4 Ds. I’m all set.

So it’s history tomorrow, math on Tuesday, GP, history and math following that. Sounds fantastic, I’m so ready to get this week over and done with. Three subjects down in a week. That’s it. Don’t drag it out and prolong the misery. I’m trying so hard to stop imagining how it’d be like after econs next Friday. Cos there’s still one more lit paper to which I need to do justice. But, oh the celebrations…

Pretty miffed at having to miss one of the biggest games of the season tonight. Stamford Bridge and I won’t be able to watch it. It’d better be worth it.

All the best to everyone for the As. It’s going to be over.

I just choked on milk. Yeah, I was watching this fanvid of Sylvia from Singapore Idol and I dunno what happened in my throat. Did I tell you I’m addicted to Singapore Idol? Like seriously addicted. It sounds absolutely odd coming from myself, when I haven’t followed a single reality show since the fourth season of Amazing Race which was something like an eternity ago. (Football doesn’t count.) So basically, I’m glued to the tv every Wednesday evening, and I’ll spend the rest of the week being absolutely annoyed at the fact that Singapore has voted all the guys in and the talented people are going out and yeah, all that. I haven’t voted though.

Before I say anything else, I’m going to spare a thought for Liverpool here. Yeah. Here goes.

HAHA.

Thought over.

3 more days till the start of the As. And then another 16 more days and it’ll all be over. I’ve got to survive.

Miss Loh came up with two new words yesterday during class. “Risified” and “POMZ”. Either she’s even more stressed out than us, or she’s secretly dreaming of being the next Miss World for Singapore. And if she does, zips and buttons will be the new fashion statement.

Oh and she reckons I “look like the type who’s gonna build a bonfire after the As.” She’s probably half right, it definitely has crossed my mind before, but then I realised it’ll be really damaging to the environment (imagine, poisonous fumes of Chua polluting the atmosphere when I burn my econs notes!) and so I kinda made up my mind that I was going to dump them all (except some lit stuff and some of the really fascinating history readings) into the nearest paper recycling bin when I’m done.

But I haven’t ruled the bonfire out yet, that’s gonna depend on how the As go.

Oh yeah, my relief teaching application has been approved. Which means the moment there’s a vacancy for me in a school, I’m going to be on my way to traumatise kids. Mwahahahaha.

Hold on, everyone. We’re all going to make it.

First of all, if you’ve got time, which you don’t, take a look at this brilliant piece of work by a United fan from London, about glory fans and how it doesn’t matter where we come from. It’s a wonderful, wonderful article.

Right. Muyao posted a link on his facebook page about the song someone did for United. I won’t post it here, but it’s basically a parody of “F*ck it (I Don’t Want You Back)” by Eamon, except the anger is channelled towards our rivals, in particular, Chelski and Liverpool. I first heard it about three or four years ago, when one of my friends played it on his phone in tuition class, and we all had a good laugh about it……until we lost the next game. And then I listened to it again, and we struggled like mad for the next. And the next. And the next.

I’ve stopped listening to it since. We’ve had three league titles and a Champions League title after that.

It’s just one of those football superstitions that I’ve had, that probably, along with the rest, are the most stupid things you will ever hear on Earth, but they honestly work for me. I’ve got this whole list of things to-do and things not-to-do before a Man United match, and, not listening to that song aside, here’s my top ten, for the fun of it.

1. Shower just before every match.

The last time I didn’t, we lost 4-1 at home. Guess which match.

2. Sit on the couch on the right hand side

It’s not a sure thing, actually, but I haven’t exactly dared to shift my sitting position on football nights to even try. My dad’s permanently on the left hand side, and we haven’t switched for nearly a year now, so something has to be working right.

3. Wear the shirt

Watching a match in any other shirt won’t do. I wore my grey United polo shirt for the first half of the City match and we weren’t getting ahead. I grabbed my United jersey and put it on for the second half. We won, and just in time too.

4. Wear the correct underwear

I’m serious! Guess which colour I’m talking about? =D

5. The Paper Crane

I have this folded paper crane made of an old ang pow packet, and it’s sitting at the top of my shelf, facing the team poster on the wall. Once, after we lost, I found that it had dropped on the ground. No one’s touching it EVER again.

6. The Mother

The mother has to go to bed when the game goes on. Or we lose. Period.

7. Do some school work in the day

It’s the whole karma thing. Be good and do what you’re supposed to do in the day and the team will do what they’re supposed to do and win. Days where I’ve skived in the afternoon, we’ve looked awful on the pitch or lost or drawn. It’s another kind of motivation to study actually. Oh, and along with more of the karma thing, basically try to do good things on a normal day, and United win.

8. Manchester “Untied”

When surfing the net for Manchester United news, if ever this typo appears, CLEAR IT, and type in “United” something like ten times in a row on google search and pray for the best. The “untied” normally precedes a terrible game. At least, when I do it. There’s got to be millions of people around who do it all the time without worrying, but I do.

9. Making predictions and previews

It’s part of the reason why RedRackets is never alive. Everytime I try to be bold enough to do a preview or a prediction (and being a United fan, the only prediction I ever make is a win), things backfire. I tried that a week ago at Liverpool. No need to go into the outcome of that match.

10. See the Sikhs on TV

That’s actually my dad’s superstition but it’s really funny. There’s this group of Sikh United fans who are season ticket holders next to the away team’s area at OT, and everytime my dad sees them, he says we’re going to win. And we do. There will be times when we’re either struggling to break the deadlock or losing, and that’s because the cameras haven’t filmed a shot of them yet. The moment they do, we somehow always turn it into victory. I’m not sure about how this works away from home actually, seeing as they’re only at Old Trafford, but it’s still pretty interesting. (And stupid.)

Only the strong survive. And blogging every once in two days is not a very good thing.

Spent the last three days having a vectors crash course. Maybe it’s a little inappropriate to call it a crash course, seeing as I was pretty much my own tutor, kinda the same way I taught meself complex numbers, hypothesis testing, statistics, functions and pretty much every other math topic, come to think of it. Oh well, that will really be an insult to Miss Ding actually. Okay, she made it a whole lot easier, and I made it a whole lot harder for myself. I probably should have never needed to teach myself a thing if I had done my work throughout the year and handed in assignments and completed tutorials on time. As it is, I’ll probably never get another chance to make up for that mistake, seeing as I will NEVER EVER EVER have to take math again in my life *squeals with utter joy* but, well, SKEEPEE LISTEN UP. If you’re doing math in JC, don’t ever do it like I did. It’s one hell ride.

So I went on an emergency vector-filled days in order to get it in my head FINALLY, and, joy to the world, I finally look at a vectors question knowing where to begin. Yesterday was my breakthrough day, hooway. I wouldn’t exactly call it happiness, I guess, more relief that I’ve finally made some sense out of it. Like Renee says, better late than never.

Hope to finish off math once and for all today, so I can get to that dreaded subject tomorrow. And maybe crash course myself again for Macroecons and keep my fingers crossed. I actually had a pretty farfetched idea the other day, when trying to think of motivation to work for econs. I just pictured this scene where I was holding the A level report slip next year, seeing an A next to my econs grade, and running up to Chua My Life, while dialling Mrs Long on the phone to thank her for all her help, in the Luncheon’s face, then hanging up and walking away without a word to that woman. It would be the meanest, most perfect thing to do, actually. Unfortunately, or not, Liverpool probably has more chance of winning four titles this year (they’re out of one of them, by the way, so it’s impossible) than I have of getting an A for econs. Tough luck. But I might consider still doing it if I get a B or C.

Goal.com thinks Ronnie wants Rooney at Real Madrid. Chances are, the report itself is as credible as Ron’s declarations of loyalty to United, but even if it’s true, it’s luffalable that Rooney would think of moving to Madrid. Wazza was Once a Blue, Now a Red, ALWAYS A RED. F*ck off Marca FC.

I’ve just broken my computer ban, obviously. Wasn’t supposed to get online till I finished vectors and correlation today but I’m stuck at planes now and needed a break. I was supposed to finish Vectors yesterday by the way, but I spent the whole day just trying to figure out complex numbers, it got pushed till today, and at the rate I’m going, it’s all gonna snowball and I won’t have time for econks once I’m done with math. Procrastination is more lethal than Rafael Nadal’s forehand.

It’s been a week from the Liverpool defeat, which as you can see I’ve avoided talking about on my blog because I might just have ended up putting up a profanity filled post that wouldn’t exactly be a very nice sight to go with that pretty looking picture on wordpress theme. (I took that pic in New Zealand by the way. It was at a cafe enroute to Fox Glacier. Beautiful place, and I had a steak and mushroom pie there and a few licks of Tiptop ice cream.) Anyway, that defeat was hard. But you win some you lose some and this weekend we’d better go back to winning ways at Blackburn. I’m gonna have to agree with Paul on UnitedRant’s RantCast. I might just become a fan of the Manchester United Carling Cup team. The youngsters are an exciting bunch of players that I would love to see get a good run out in the first team against lesser clubs to see how it goes. Zoran Tosic in particular. Doesn’t hurt that he looks like Nole Djokovic.

The sky is so dark! I’m reminded of the modern period and all its bleakness all over again. Haha. Oh you know, there’s this open drain passage thing on the slopes opposite Thomson Plaza and it’s normally dry and empty but yesterday’s huge downpour practically flooded it and the sight of it was like one of those little brooks that rush through the rainforest, it was actually so pretty. I actually tried to pretend that I was in Rivendell. Okay, I’m a loser. But who can blame me. I just miss NZ.

Oh I’m so proud of myself for finishing Southeast Asia. Please please please let my history and lit get an A. OMG this is so scary, I think the sky is going to fall on me! Serious, it’s bloody dark and the clouds are so black it’s freakier than… never mind I won’t say what I wanna say, but you get me. AH LIGHTNING! Anyway, um, history and lit. Yeah, it’s unimaginable not to get an A. Please please please let me get an A for both. OMG not the wind’s freaking me out, okay hang on, I’m gonna close my windows.

EEK MY DOOR JUST SLAMMED ON ME!

Is someone trying to tell me to go back and do my work?

OMG falling plants in the balcony. Tsk tsk tsk. Ok ok I’m going back to vectors, alright??!!

Oh wait, yeah, tonight’s Blackburn at OT. Oh I’ve said that already. Sorry.

And did I mention Andre Agassi’s scandal? My god. OK I’ll do that when I next take a break. I’m going to have a full rant about it and the weather doesn’t seem to be very pleased with me taking so long here. See ya.

AAAAAAAHHHHHH THUNDEEEERR! I’M GOING BACK TO WORK NOW LAH STOP THUNDERING!

Just found this clip on youtube. It’s a bit late now in terms of the weeks that have gone by since that wonderful beachball goal at Sunderland, but if you still need some form of help recovering from that game at Anfailed, have a look at this.

That you are here. That life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

I spend more time thinking than doing work these days. Not good with the As in less than two weeks. Still, I think for all I’ve been someone who probably has given deeper and more abstract thought to issues and the way of life than most people I know for a very long time, I’m currently doing that even more these days. I’d never thought it possible. But there hasn’t been a moment when I’m not philosophising something, searching for something, exploring the meaning of things, questioning society, questioning values. Somehow I think I’m either suffering from an overdose of the Modern Paper, or I’m just too all thought no action for my own good.

Someone once told me that sometimes when you think too much, you fail to take action. And it’s so true. Why? You’re so preoccupied by the thoughts that you form, question, rebut and reform in your head, it’s an endless process. And it’s a tiring yet self-gratifying one, but does it really do any good? Thinking about the future, thinking of your purpose in life, and you think you’ve found it. Can you really find something just by thinking?

I want to contribute to humanity. That much I know. That much’s my goal. Immerse myself and the people around me with love and goodness, learn the wholeness of life. Learning to put aside the prestige and the material for the heart, because that’s what should matter. Am I being too ideal? Is it too unrealistic a goal to set in an age like this? I dunno, I don’t think I’ve ever been very pragmatic, but I’ve at least maintained some degree of realism, yet I just can’t figure this one out.

Do we really have to live out this cutthroat world? Why does it have to be all about survival, and why do the means of survival have to be so cruel to ignore what life truly is all about?

Poetry, beauty, romance, love. These are what we live for.

I believe so, but the rest of this world doesn’t think so, it seems. It’s ironic, really. I’m struggling to come to terms with all this, yet here I am, a participant in something that is the strongest reflection of the very thing I’m condemning, and I cannot turn my back on it for the very same pragmatism that I am criticising.

The A levels? Just another competition we all have to go through to survive. It doesn’t make you happier. It doesn’t make you a better person. Getting 4As makes you a more proven student of the academics, not a better human being. But I’m here, worrying about those As and whether I can attain them, to live up to the expectations of this society and the family. And at this point, the mind questions the reasoning behind all this. I don’t want to be a doctor, nor a lawyer, nor an accountant, nor an engineer. They do great things for industry, to upkeep and improve institutions and creations by which definitions are man-made, laws of the life are man-made, processes are man-made. And that’s not where I want to be headed.

Why do we celebrate literary works, play music, express our thoughts in many different ways by writing, reading, engaging in conversation, help people? I may not know much, but I believe that it’s the soul, the very thing that mankind has not created for ourselves, that needs fulfillment and enriching. And it’s something we sorely lack and have been sadly neglecting.

This is a battle, a war, and the casualties could be your hearts and souls.

This made my day.

They still do a great live performance and it’s way better than their recorded version.

Even if you’re not a football fan, this is comedy at its finest.